Susan Biali

I just came off the air from the Nik & Val Show on 1410 CFUN, here in Vancouver - what great hosts they are and they have such fun, inspiring topics, have a listen to them whenever you can: www.cfun.com , they're on every weekday morning from 9-12, you can also listen to them online. Just before I went on air, they were interviewing a 23 year old university student, Ben Nemtin, who made the most incredible list of items he wants to do before he dies ( see www.theburiedlife.com).  We began my segment by talking about lists: I have a book of lists which I've been keeping for the last 10 years or so, each one about 25 items long (I must have 30 of these lists by now!), and I write a new list whenever my dreams and perspective on my life change.  What's really fun is to go back later, and mark those items off!

I talked on the show about the fact that years ago, when I was going through the book "The Artist's Way", by Julia Cameron, I wrote a description of my ideal day, from morning to night.  I would be living in an Italian oceanfront villa, with my gorgeous Italian husband, I'd get up in the morning, go for a walk on the beach, rehearse dance in my studio (perhaps give a private lesson or two), and then go to my office overlooking the ocean and work on my writing, marketing and other projects.  I might go out with a friend for lunch in an outdoor cafe, and in the evening I'd go out for dinner with my sexy man and then we'd go out dancing...or, I'd perform in a flamenco show.  Well, a little while ago I found the notebook that I wrote that "ideal day" in so many years ago...it's basically all come true, except for the fact that I'm living on the beach in Mexico, not Italy!  And my gorgeous husband-to-be, Armando, is Mexican, not Italian.  And yes, he dances - in fact, we teach salsa workshops in Cabo.  So we even get paid when we go out dancing at night! 

As I said on air today, it's funny how life will often give you a new improved version of your original dream, something that's much better for you in the long run.  Being in Mexico lets me commute easily between Vancouver and Cabo, and I'm also allergic to wheat, so the pasta temptation would have been problem in Italy! 

Nik and Val specifically asked me to give their listeners a place to review the critical life questions we'd discussed - the questions that, if you reflect on and answer them from a very authentic place deep within you, will truly guide you to your best life imaginable.  In another blog I mentioned my "From Your Cells To Your Soul" Seven Life Levels that I write about and use to work with my coaching clients, but here I'm going to put a list of the ten specific questions that we discussed in the show today:

1) TIME:  What do you really want to do with your time?

Look  at your plans for today, this week, this month, this year?  Does the way you’re spending your time fit with your longterm goals and dreams in your life?  Unless you start tweaking your schedule, bit by bit, to honour those things that REALLY matter, you won’t be able to create the life of your dreams.

2) RELATIONSHIPS: Who do you really want to spend time with, who really adds to your life?

We’re creatures of habit, often we spend time with the same people simply because that’s what we’ve always done.  The people around you mold you into what you’re becoming, right now.  If you’re spending time with someone, think about it – would you want to become more like them, or not? If not, be conscious of the amount of precious time you spend with that person, and also look for some people to spend time with, who are closer to who you would like to be one day.

3) ACTIVITIES: What do you want to do more of?  4) What do you want to do less of?

Make a list of each of these two categories.  Now, look at your schedule for the week or month, and see what you could delete and add, based on your answers to these two questions.

5) HEALTH: What’s the one big health change you could make that would make the most difference to your quality of life?

Once you’ve decided what that is, what is a way that you could start to make this change, in a way that would be enjoyable and realistic for you. Dramatic changes that require a lot of sacrifice won’t work.

6) SELF-IMAGE AND CONCEPT: Who do you want to become in the next year?  7) What do you want to change about yourself the most?

Imagine yourself 12 months from now – who would you like to be?  More importantly, what steps would you have to take between now and then, to become that new you?  Would you need to take a course, take a risk, take a trip…what do you need to do?

8) PURPOSE: If you could choose to get one thing out of this year, what would it be?

How do you feel when you wake up in the morning? Are you enthusiastic about your days?  I used to have to drag myself out of bed, when I was “off-purpose”, doing the wrong thing with my life.  Now that I’ve found my purpose, which is inspiring and helping others to live their dreams, I love my work so much that I have to force myself to get enough sleep and stop and eat and play!  That’s how you feel when you’re on purpose.

9) VALUES AND PRIORITIES: If you suddenly found out this was the last year of your life, what would you do?

Besides racking up your credit card, of course!  Who would you spend time with?  What would you spend your time doing?  You must begin to incorporate these very things, into your life now, if you want to live a life without regrets.

10) VALUES & PRIORITIES: What have you been putting off for “Someday” that you could do, instead, this year?  Or this week?

The next time you hear yourself saying “yes, we should really do that,” or “I’d love to do that, someday”, find a way NOW to start doing it, even in the smallest of ways.  Don’t say to a friend that you must get together more and then forget about it – plan that lunch now, even if it’ll be in April. 
Make it happen, or life will pass you by.  And no one likes that feeling!  Even if you feel you’ve spent your life letting it pass you by, it’s never too late to make a start.  In fact, I’d bet that right now is the perfect time for you.

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