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Featured Articles Change Your State, Change Your Life
Featured Articles Change Your State, Change Your Life | Change Your State, Change Your Life |
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By Susan Biali, M.D. No matter where I go, life sends me wonderful mentors and guardian angels. They take me under their wing, share wisdom, connections, and life experience, and, more often than not, give me a gentle kick in the right direction. Either I’m really lucky, or God thinks I need a lot of help! I suspect it’s a bit of both. My “aunt” Cathie is one of these angels. When I landed in Cabo two years ago, a Vancouver friend – who’s her real niece – gave me Cathie’s phone number and email, “in case you need anything”. Cathie helped me find a place to stay, introduced me to anyone and everyone, and, more importantly, taught me two very important things about life. Cathie, who looks like Sofia Loren, moved to Cabo from San Diego over twenty years ago, after the sudden death of her husband. She opened her own insurance agency, and it’s now one of the most successful in all of Mexico. “Always rely on yourself,” she reminds me frequently. “Don’t expect to live off someone else’s retirement fund or income, or – worse yet - the government. Earn your own money, save ten percent, buy real estate, and save for your retirement. I’ve seen too many women go through life thinking the fact that they’re ‘cute’ will save them – not so, honey!” She’s also taught me to continually improve myself, and lends me books from her extensive library. One day, when I told her I wanted to take my career and my life to the next level, she handed me a huge, dusty, 1991 original edition of Tony Robbins’ Awaken the Giant Within. Inside, I found a jewel I’d like to share with you. What do you do when you’re stressed, or worried, or afraid, or bored? How about when you happen to be in denial about something that’s right in front of your face? What’s your favorite method of procrastination? I eat. Or surf the net. Or write excessively long, unnecessary emails. Or lose myself in a book. Or shop. Or work…and work... and work. When I look back at the time I’ve spent avoiding things, be it feelings, problems, fears, unwelcome emotions, or dreaded tasks, it makes me cringe to think what my life could be like if I’d known how to deal with them – or better yet, myself – more effectively. Oh well, my life’s still pretty good, and at least I’ve gained this new insight while there’s still hope. According to Robbins, the reason that so many of us pursue these activities (and others, including smoking, drinking, drugs, and even excess sleep), is that we’re looking to change our state. The rush of sugar, fat and flavor of a big slab of cake is just the ticket to feeling better instantly. Until you actually finish it, or the whole cake, or course. Now, you might actually feel more worried, and probably pretty guilty. I’ve learned to do a self-check whenever I feel an impulse that’s not in line with my goals. For example, if I want to get published in Oprah (I was recently given a referral to one of the editors), why am I spending so much time answering friends’ messages on Facebook.com? Now, whenever I start wanting to engage in one of my “red flag” activities, I stop and ask: “What am I trying to avoid?” If I’m avoiding doing something unpleasant, I’d best get down to it and do the work. But if it’s a negative emotion, I’ve learned from Robbins that there are much more adaptive and productive ways to change my state. “Do you know how to make yourself feel good?” he asks. It may seem like a silly question, but it’s actually a very powerful tool. He continues: “Do you have a set of specific and empowering ways to make yourself feel good at a moment’s notice? Can you accomplish this without the use of food, alcohol, cigarettes, or other addictive sources?” Do you suffer from overeating, excess alcohol consumption, smoking, or similar pastimes which can progress into addictive behavior? More often than not, this behavior is a compulsive, unconscious, maladaptive means of obtaining relief from an uncomfortable emotional or mental state. Of course, some people may have a long painful history that requires extensive work or therapy, and then there are the physical or chemical aspects of addiction as well (which cause withdrawal, etc.). However, anyone can begin, at any time, to learn how to instantly change their state, in more empowering ways. Tony “gave” me this assignment, and I’m passing it on to you. You, in turn, might want to share it with others. List 25 things you can do, that make you feel good, instantly. I love putting on great music, or dancing flamenco, or calling a friend. The instant I engage in these, instead of reaching for that gooey cake, I feel better, energized, and even joyous. I still need to deal with the reason I’m worried, or upset, but at least I haven’t added the guilt of compulsive activity on top of that. And that’s a very good thing! © Copyright Dr. Susan Biali 2007 |
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Article samples
These articles are samples from Dr.Biali's extensive body of published work, which includes almost a hundred published articles on Health & Nutrition, in addition to many articles on the subject of Living Well.
